Martini-loving spy James Bond has a severe drinking problem and should seek help, researchers argue in a new paper titled “License to Swill” from the University of Otago in New Zealand in the paper published Monday in the Medical Journal of Australia.
During his six decades on screen, a drink touched the secret agent’s lips 109 times at an average of 4.5 times per movie, the researchers found. The dashing spook’s biggest binge was in 2008’s “Quantum of Solace,” where he downed six of his signature Vesper Martinis.
This feat would put his blood alcohol level at 0.36, researchers estimated — well into the range that can be fatal. When he drinks, Bond engages in risky behavior like having sex with enemies — “sometimes with guns or knives in the bed,” researchers wrote in the study.
He’s also prone to brawls, car chases, high-stakes gambling and operating complex machinery — like the nuclear technology in 1962’s “Dr. No,” they found. Bond might be both shaken and stirred by the findings that he satisfies at least six of the 11 criteria for an alcohol use disorder.
The authors suggested that Bond’s workplace, MI6, should become “a responsible employer” and offer the secret agent support services and “change its own workplace drinking culture.”
“Further, MI6 management needs to redefine Bond’s job to reduce his stress levels. More field support and a stronger team approach are needed so that his duties do not weigh as heavily upon him,” the researchers said.
The article won first prize in the Medical Journal of Australia’s Christmas competition, where researchers submit quirky studies.